The definition of insanity

Is repeating the same thing and expecting different results.  This is true for me, as I post a year later (again) and for my son, who continues to intermittently test us, always alternating, and even though he does it repeatedly, it is SO HARD not to react in frustration - which is exactly what Jerome and I see one another doing.

Xaye is a kind, sensitive, bright kid who is concerned about equity and quick to increase his intensity to ensure we are mindful of his perspective (even when the delivery is less than savory).

He has grown tremendously in 1st grade: a falling out with Dylan, voicing his frustration about conflict, and wondering if they could stay friends (and being willing to say this out loud and ask for advocacy regarding this concern).  They were able to reconcile and now include their younger siblings in their events: we alternate sleepovers with Talia and Chris - and this summer plan to do so for each dyad's delight: the entire house to themselves.

Xaye has noticed peers who are very kind and brave and spoken highly of them, he has also recognized kids who struggle and voiced concern for their success - and what they do to get in the way. The other day he came into the room and said 'mom, i just want to be sure we are on the same page.....'

When gardening with his first grade class, he was confident and knowledgeable about gardening and was complimented by teachers for his awareness. He has been an incredible model for Quincy; taking turns, sharing, listening well, cooperatively cleaning up, offering to help, offering to share with Quincy, encouraging Quince to use the potty, I could go on and on.

With Love and Logic Jerome and I are better parents - it is a dream come true. Room to grow? Always - but i feel grounded and confident in the way we navigate the kids.  Xaye often repeats L and L phrases and uses the same tools with his brother and friends at school.

I have heard him repeatedly interact with kids who comment on his nail polish and judge him. He says, with complete confidence, and a calm manner, "i like to have colors on them, there is nothing wrong with that. it is not only for girls". If they repeat themselves or try again, he looks away, disinterested, and shrugs.

amazing.

Every time we shop, he buys something for himself and for quincy. EVERY TIME.

When quincy was sick with hand, foot, and mouth this spring, xaye worried over him and had more patience with him - it was very sweet. he encouraged quincy to play and when quincy was uncomfortable, xaye sat and read with him or they watched tv together.

they are well paired, and as quincy gets older, it is getting increasingly easy for them to get along.

Quincy is affectionate, silly, daring, determined, and endearing. He is beginning to gesture when he talks, looking SO serious, and it is hard not to grin as you listen to him.

Xaye has become a better person because he is impacted by his brothers bravery and daring. Xaye is a much stronger swimmer and climber, and uses a 2 wheel scooter this year with confidence. this is all because when xaye sees quincy try something, he is inspired and determined. it is a healthy competition that pushes an older child to feel more confidence from someone else's success.


Xaye recently talked about wanting to be called "xavier" instead of xaye - I think the process of self discovery is so fascinating, and I remember the evolution of my name, Jennifer, Jenny, Jen, Willis.......

I wonder also for Quincy if others will see him as Parker.

The difference between this posting and the one from last year? I am not insane.